Question The Heel

I grew up poor and we had very little money and too many kids. Therefore our dinners (and lunches) consisted of TONS of Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches. There were a three of us kids so that's what we'd eat. My mom would often fix our supper. Now I'm not a big fan of "the heel" in a loaf of bread. But my mom seemed to almost make SURE that out of all of us, I had at least one heel on my sandwich, and sometimes even TWO heels on one sandwich! I was disgusted with her for a long time about this. Over and over again I'd get heels, heels, heels! This went on for too long and I never said a word. Finally one day I sat down and looked at my sandwich with the heel and asked my brothers, "Anyone else want the heel?" My mom stopped her sandwich making and looked up, "You don't like the heels?" I answered , "Well, NO, I hate them really". She then told me one of my brothers had told her long ago that I LOVED the heels and wanted them! So all this time she'd been making sure I got heels! Lesson learned: maybe STOP someone if they're doing something strange you don't like, question it!

I'm A Gremlin!

Yesterday I went bowling with some friends. This was an alternative activity that we had agreed upon. The damn ice and snow that Mother Nature (that bitch) decided to deliver prevented us from our first choice which was fishing!

I wake this morning and my damn right eye matted shut! I run downstairs, look in the mirror, forcing my eye open and look to see BRIGHT pink peering back at me. I feel like a Gremlin. When the light hits my eye I feel as if little fur balls are going to pop out of my eye and create little demon pink eyed, rubbing their eyeballs children for me to spend eternity caring for. What the fuck, how does a 39 year old get pink eye?! I tell you how. By going to a nasty bowling alley, putting on nasty rental shoes that nasty people wear. By sticking my fingers in nasty bowling ball holes where nasty people have stuck their nasty fingers!

Bowling is NASTY!

Sundays' at Home Depot

You can tell so much about couples that you see at the Home Depot store. We were there this morning and ran into three couples.

The first couple we pass are probably in their mid twenties. They were holding hands and giggling, looking at the lighting, shaking their heads in agreement, and were just as happy as they could be - JUST MARRIED! I thought. The man will do anything and agree to anything because he has one thing on his mind.

The second couple we passed were walking slowly but with purpose. The woman was telling the man what he was going to buy. She was pushing the cart and he was saying, "yes dear" out loud. Now there is a man that is miserable and has no choice but to do what she says or she will make his life TOTAL hell.

The third couple we saw were a woman and man walking beside one another. The woman was saying to him, "If you didn't want to do this project or help with this project then you should have just fucking told me so ..." Behind them were three little kids. One of them pushing the cart so full of stuff that his face was bright red. On the way to divorce I thought. I felt sorry for the kids, because if their folks fought like that in public I can only imagine what their battles are like at home.

Then there was me and my Princess. Now see I know a secret that none of these men know.

I go out early and clean the snow and ice off the truck while Princess is taking a shower. I turn on the heat and make sure her side of the truck is nice and clean. We drive to Home Depot while listening to her favorte music. We get to Home Depot and I drop the Princess of at the front door, go to the exit side of the parking lot and park the truck. I meet Princess at the carts. I push the cart and let the Princess walk around and put her stuff that she "needs" into it. She holds something up and says, "Do you think this will work?" ... I say "if it doesn't baby I will bring it back and get what you need." She says, "Do you like this." ... I say,"I like anything that you do, besides even if I didn't, you make our house look so nice I trust your judgement."

We get all of items and we leave the store .... both of us Happy and Satisfied with the whole experience. Not to mention still speaking to one another in the truck.

Spring In Missouri ...

This is what Spring looks like today in Missouri.

We have made the best of it. Princess has worked on getting her new laundry room looking just right (I've tried to help, but I am not allowed anywhere near the laundry since I shrink things and change them colors). I have watched a movie, cooked lunch for the Princess and now we are fixing to cuddle on the couch and watch the last episode of Big Love while the snow falls outside. Really being locked up inside doesn't seem so bad after all.

BUT...

I hope the Groundhog that predicted this crap freezes his balls off in it today!

CowBoi Up Friday

Okay Tina here's the cowboy hat picture!

I do have to say Princess looks a hell of a lot better in the hat than I do!

Actually I'm cheating a little. We took these pictures last summer at a Sheryl Crow concert we went to and we were just a little intoxicated. It was an awesome night, one that consisted of ice cold beer, the warm summer breeze you get right before a thunderstorm and both the Princess and I were free of pagers from work. It was a night of absolute freedom and time stood still. The funniest thing was the concert was an outside venue and they actually said that there were NO CAMERAS allowed. Right, 3000 people at an outside venue and none of us are going to have a camera! WTF anyway.... what happened to the days when one could go to a concert and take as many pics as they wanted?!

My Home Library ...

I'm one of those people who does a majority of my reading in the house library. My Princess teases me when I go there. Sometimes I will fear that she will start slipping Colace into my eggs and bacon in the mornings.

I remember as a kid, before I could even read, finding the newspaper in the bathroom. I just knew that my parents were trying to potty train my little brother, you know, like they did the cats out on the back porch. I was sure this was the reason the paper was in there - to give them something to do while he sit on the toilet ...

Now as an adult I know the truth. It's the quietest place in the house. There isn't a soul that dare to come in and ask what I'm doing. No interruptions, no loud TV or my OCD kicking in to make me answer the phone or that email from mother that demands an answer before she emails another. It's the one place I can actually concentrate on the National and Local news that is going on in the world.

All that said .... I sure am glad I live in a century that has advanced to the point that the home library is on the inside of the house.

Because winters in Missouri get mighty damn cold!

Twilight Gone ....

Princess and I decided that we would rent a movie last Sat night. The three grown up monkeys got us a Blue Ray player for Christmas and here it is March and we still hadn't experienced the joy it can bring to our lives (okay that's a bullshit line - we just got tired of the grown Monkey's asking if we had watched anything on it so we rented the movie in Blue Ray).

We go to Blockbuster and dig out our little blue card, which we had a hard time finding because we NEVER rent movies anymore. I'm a bit of a tightwad. I say to Princess, "I can't believe we pay for Showtime, Cinamax, and HBO and here we are renting a damn movie in a video store!" We walk through the countless aisles of movies and finally arrive at the Twilight Box.

Now, Princess and I are both fans of the HBO Series True Blood, so we are thinking, "hmmmmm this may be good."

We get the movie home, settle into our PJ's and I carefully remove the movie from it's plastic container and slide it into the player. Then I sit and look at the front of it. WTF ... "I can't read any of this small writing on here Princess ....." "Here" ... Princess says and hands me the remote. I spend almost 10 minutes trying to figure out the damn remote buttons. I FINALLY push select and the TV screen flashes .... NO DISC IN PLAYER. "WTF I know I put it in there" I say to Princess and she lays on the couch comfortable and patiently waiting.

I push the open button and the player opens, no disc is there! I shut it. I open it and repeat this process a few times. I bang on top of it. NOTHING.

"Damn it to hell, I'm going to have to take it apart to get it out of there". I go to the garage and rummage around finding the small screwdriver needed to open up the case. Princess tells me that she is going to take a shower while I take the player apart. I open it and NOTHING is in there. NOTHING. I look toward the shelf that the player was sitting on .....

When we got the Blue Ray player for Christmas, I put it on top of the DVD player we already had. That's where the Twilight disc was... safe and sound in the old player.

But I dare not tell Princess where I found it ..... never ..... will I tell her!