A few months ago a drunk driver hit my car. I wasn't even in it. It was even parked in front of my house on the street! It was even 4 AM in the morning.....
Yes, 4 AM, not in it, in font of my house and I was upstairs sleeping in my nice warm bed.
The Princess and I awaken to the pounding at the front door like no other pounding. I am assured that it is one of her packages of adult children wanting something insane, because if something was wrong at their home or with them we all know they are VERY capable of letting their fingers walk over the buttons of a phone. I hit Princess in the arm and tell her to go open the door and quickly fall asleep. Just as I'm about to wander back to dreamland the Princess is shaking me awake .... "Monkey,Monkey a drunk driver hit your car, the cops need to talk to you".
I run down the stairs in my boxers and white t-shit and fall halfway down them. The cop comes running in the door (he was standing in the door way and saw me) and helps me up off the floor. My eyes are half open as I approach the porch and there's my car, mangled, you can't even tell where the front meets the back. The drunk driver is laying on the ground next to the police car. He had passed out at the wheel after he hit me. Turns out he is a 23 yr old kid with 4 previous DUI's. At this point I'm thinking, great he has no insurance.
Surprise he does. A month later I get a check from his insurance company and I go buy, drum roll, the truck I have always wanted! I had to file all the paperwork and chase down the policereport to get it. But I did it.
Then this morning the drunk driver calls me and asks me to go to court for him Monday morning and testify that he did the right thing and stayed at the scene of the accident.
Are you fucking kidding me! Hell no. I've driven shitty rental cars and had to do all the paperwork with your insurance company because you couldn't because you were in jail. PLUS, you were passed out, you didn't stay at the scene because you wanted to fucktard!
Then the drunktard .... says.... heartless bitch.
I may be that to him .... but hey I think I will take my NEW truck out for a spin. Then until our garage is done, park it safely in the neighbors driveway where nobody lives all safe and sound.